NASA: Snowballing to be Impossible by 2035 Due to Climate Change

Houston, TX - Climate change has been a major concern for scientists for decades now, but recent developments show that things are getting worse even quicker than expect. This degradation continues, and earlier this week NASA released a chilling prediction: Snowballing will be impossible by 2035 due to climate change. NASA even went further than this, saying "The first person to finish first in their region and not receive a travel stipend has already been born".

This news has many people terrified, fearing that they will no longer be able to put forth a little bit of effort early and then easily coast to laters events with only marginal results at other events. The report included particularly chilling excerpts such as "Climate change has already done untold damage to the Championship Point structure, but this prediction confirms that the worst is yet to come" it continues to say, "Unpredictable climate has pushed nationals earlier and earlier every year, and in just 10 years the European internationals will be so early that the results won't even matter for the season they are supposed to count for. In just a decade's time there will be no regionals held within 100 miles of the east or west coast of the United States. by 2029, Australia will only have a single sanctioned event, held yearly at the top of Uluru. This is unprecedented, and I fear it may be too late to be stopped"

Others, especially some US politicians, are not swayed by these negative prognostications. One congressman from Alabama laughed off these predictions. In a speech on the house floor, he proclaimed "If climate change is so devastating, then how do you explain this?" as he held up a screenshot from the Pokemon Tournament website. "This image shows that there are 4 midseasons showdowns in the next 9 days in the state of Ohio alone! If climate change is real like those eggheads at NASA seem to believe, then how can this be true?"

NASA, however, quickly rebuked the congressman's argument. In a statement, a spokesperson for NASA stated "Climate change does not mean that every single region will see a decrease in championship points immediately. While climate change may cause an increase in championship points in Ohio, Siberia, and other places no one would ever visit voluntarily, these increases are heavily outweighed by losses in other areas. For every one Midseason Showdown Ohio gains, 2 Australian events are taken away. In the long run, however, even places like Ohio will see tremendous losses".

In addition to these remarks on climate change, The NASA report also predicted that by 2035, the rest of the world will still be sleeping on LatAm