KLINKLANG TIMES EXCLUSIVE: US West World Cup Proof Of Residency Documents LEAKED

Tragic! Local VGC Player Accidentally Recites The True Name of God While Brainstorming Team Name Acronyms, Is Instantly Struck Down

Youngstown, OH - A local VGC community has been shaken today following the tragic death of a community member. According to people close to the situation, the victim was in the middle brainstorming session for team acronyms using voice chat on the popular app "Discord - Chat for Gamers" when he suddenly disconnected mid-utterance. Eye-witnesses report that the victim's room was inexplicably struck by lighting on a clear day, leading many to conclude that this could only be an act of God.

God could not be reached for comment on the situation, but many of his most ardent followers insist that this act was not only a retribution for speaking the true name of God, but also a direct condemnation of the team the victim had created. "The team was terrible" said one expert, "It was probably some kyogre + ho-oh bullshit with no electric resists, so this was clearly just an attempt by our great Father to discourage the usage of such terrible teams."

While some people are saddened by these events, many VGC players are actually jealous of the victim and have begun clamoring for death by lightning strike to become the official VGC 2020 format.

Oh No! Thanos Just Smart Moneyed Half Of The Madison Regional Attendees! Did You Survive?

Outskirts of Wakanda, Wakanda - Thinking about attending Madison regionals? Well perhaps you should think again! Thanos just dealt a punishing blow to the prospective attendees of this event, naming half of all attendees to be the smart money to win the whole event. In his article, published via snapchat, Thanos justified his seemingly heinous act. His speech is as follow "Players, VGC is on the brink of collapse. It's simple calculus, CP is finite, stipends are finite. If too many players are left free of being smart moneyed, VGC will cease to exist." He continued "Drastic measures must be taken, and I'm the only one with the will to take them. This will come at a great cost, even greater than an entry fee, but once it is done VGC will be balanced, as all things should be."

Immediately after Thanos published his article, chaos erupted in Madison. The players looked into the night sky and their destinies were revealed. A total of 55 people were smart moneyed. Below is a vivid account of players who were smart moneyed and their destinies.

The day got off to a rough start, as Thomas McCready, Matthew Carter, Jimmy Friedle, Zheyuan Huang, and Alex Faust had nightmares about ally switch and were not able to wake up in time for registration. Patrick Finney, Mario Serrano, Justin Frys, Tommy Coolean and Keith S Talon were all afllicted with a terrible condition, try as they might they were unable to fill in anything except "Smart Money" in the blanks of their team sheet, and thus received 6 game losses and had to play all their matches without 6 of their Pokemon.

Carson Confer, Tyler Miller, William Sepesi, Ethan Simpson and Curtis Cousins were infected by a rare brain parasite that forces its user to run dunsparce and simisear on their teams, and performed poorly as a result. Jake Muller, Nate Innocenti, Brett Favre, David Mancuso and Sean Carter were all late to their round 1 matches due to accidentally sitting at the TCG tables, were unable to make win first round match, and were unable to recover from such a set back

Sean Carter, Daniel Thorpe, Brandon Wright, Gavin Michaels, and Dylan Salvanera lost their first 2 sets to getting flinched repeatedly by choice scarf landorus, who used rock slide so much it ran out of rock slide PP every game. Nicholas Borghi, Louis Milich, Alex Collins, Alyssa Smith and Andrew Cavanah won their first set, but then ran into some really tough matchups and ended up eventually losing three games in a row. Adam Baltrusaitis, Ryan Brainard, Alexander Williams, William Marks, and Logan Mazur all got food poisoning over lunch break, and were unable to finish the tournament

Justin Crubaugh, Shaun Martin, Jake Barrett, Nick Sefranek, and Isaac Van Name played exclusively 6 pokemon mirror matchups, and went X-3 as a result. Alex Arand, Jack Thackrah, Paul Chua, Collin Heier, Justin Burns all lost peacefully, they just played slightly sub optimally and ended at X-3 or low X-2. Ashton Cox, Jake Smith, Samuel Haarsma, Andrew Nowak, and Travis Johnson all fought hard to defeat their destinies, but ultimately bubbled at X-2

In a heroic showing, it seemed as if some of the smart monies could survive, Brian Youm, Mitchell Beyer, and Kyle Houston all made it to the top 8, but unfortunately faced rematches of their swiss losses in top cut and suffered a second loss. Alex Underhill and Corey Esmeier both fell short in top 4, losing on your time in both of their sets.

If you weren't on this list, then congratulations! You avoided the smart money curse. But please remember and mourn our fallen brothers and sisters who weren't so lucky.

Smart Monies (in order of on-screen demise)

1. Thomas McCready

2. Matthew Carter

3. Jimmy Friedle

4. Zheyuan Huang

5. Alex Faust

6. Patrick Finney

7. Mario Serrano

8. Justin Frys

9. Tommy Cooleen

10. Keith S Talon

11. Carson Confer

12. Tyler Miller

13. William Sepesi

14. Curtis Cousins

15. Ethan Simpson

16. Jake Muller

17. Nate Innocenti

18. Brett Favre

19. David Mancuso

20. Sean Carter

21. Daniel Thorpe

22. Brandon Wright

24. Gavin Michaels

25. Dylan Salvanera

26. Nicholas Borghi

27. Louis Milich

28. Alex Collins

29. Alyssa Smith

30. Andrew Cavanah

31. Adam Baltrusaitis

32. Ryan Brainard

33. Alexander Williams

34. William Marks

35. Logan Mazur

36. Justin Crubaugh

37. Shaun Martin

38. Jake Barrett

39. Nick Sefranek

40. Isaac Van Name

41. Alex Arand

42. Jack Thackrah

43. Paul Chua

44. Collin Heier

45. Justin Burns

46. Ashton Cox

47. Jake Smith

48. Samuel Haarsma

49. Andrew Nowak

50. Travis Johnson

51. Brian Youm

52. Mitchell Beyer

53. Kyle Houston

54. Alex Underhill

55. Corey Esmeier

NPA News: NPA 8 To Be Decided Entirely By Popular Vote

Petalburg, Indiana - Following extensive controversies in NPA 7, the NPA commissioner has announced a small format shift for NPA 8. At a press conference he stated "NPA 7 was full of contested games that often were decided by rushed, unexpected votes after the game. To remedy this, all games in NPA 8 will be decided by a scheduled popular vote amongst the managers every week." This change is sure to send shock waves throughout the entire NPA process. In the past, managers would spend the bulk of their money on players who could either win them a lot of games, get them a lot of likes on youtube, or just had a cool Japanese name to intimidate opponents. With the new popular vote structure, expect law school students who can present compelling popular vote arguments and players capable of paying managers large bribes to supplant these old staples as the top money earners.

In spite of this large change, the NPA commissioner will continue to play on an NPA team, stating that he is impartial, and sees no possible conflict of interest.

EXCLUSIVE STORY: The true rundown of the Sao Paulo Challenge (That they don't want you to know about)

Sydney, Austrailia - Wow! The Sao Paulo Challenge had quite the ending! but what REALLY happened?

Long story short, some people ghosted and got caught. The real crime here however, wasn't that they ghosted, but that they were really fucking bad at it. One source close to the situation remarked "Being this fucking terrible at ghosting is simply unacceptable. Any time someone is caught ghosting this poorly it reflects poorly on the community, and they should be embarrassed and punished to the fullest extent." He closed by saying "We at the Sao Paolo Challenge are committed to rooting out all cheating that is this poorly executed. If you're gonna cheat do it properly Goddammit!"

The affected players, however, are not going down without a fight. One player remarked "They don't have any irrefutable proof that I cheated! And even if they did, what I did is not explicitly illegal! And even if it was, the way they found out about it was illegal!". These players have filed a lawsuit for $15 in damages, $500 in emotional distress and $300 in stolen twitter likes. We have however just received news from the courts that the plaintiffs misspelled their lawyers name on their Lawsuit sheet, and thus will be given a trial loss and will not be able to use their lawyer for any future appeals.

Overall, most people agree with the punishments given, but some players dissent. One local VGC player, whose friends are all terrible at VGC, doesn't believe that ghosting was a big deal. He took to twitter to voice his displeasure with the current ruling. "I honestly don't see the problem with ghosting!" said the player, whose friends routinely recommend using Decideueye and Greninja. "I always find that I don't really do any better when my friends help me than when I play alone" continued, noting that his friends always encourage him to "go for the hard read! Don't be a chicken".

One thing is for sure, in the aftermath of this tournament, TPCI is scrambling frantically to think of what ways they can totally fucking screw up their next regional so they can definitively demonstrate just how much more screwed up official tournaments can be than grassroots ones.

Sydney Internationals Preview: We Put A Bunch Of Dots Between the Letters of All the Names so You Can't CTRL+F and Have To Actually Read The Whole Damn Article

Remember last preview article where we said we were ok with you just using CTRL+F to find yourself in the article without actually reading it? Yeah, that was a major lie, it actually hurt our feelings a lot. So to combat this, we are going to put a bunch of dots (Like J..oh.n S.m.Ith) between all the letters in your names so you can't use CTRL+F easily to find yourself. If you decide to use some sort of text editing trick to still use CTRL+F to find yourself, that is perfectly OK, we at the KlingKlang times reward that sort of creative thinking (Otherwise we'd write your names Like JJJJOOOOHHHHNNN SMMMIIITTTHHH or just misspell them and you'd have a much harder time!).

DIFFICULTY RANKING

Before we start talking about the players, let first make an extremely broad predicition about the difficulty of the regional without really thinking about it too much.

/

Now, before you say "Wow, only a 3/5! You're really sleeping on AUS!" you should realize that this rating is totally meaningless. And not just because random difficultly rankings are inherently meaningless either! No this rating is meaningless because I haven't properly established the relative value of a mega kangaskhan versus a Landorus-T. Maybe you're thinking "Oh, it's obvious that it's a simple 1 to 1! 3/5! Riot!" but if I told you that your new haircut was a 💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩/10, woould you consider that a perfect score? Hell no! because the shit emoji is understood to not just carry the value of 1, and likewise it's pretty obvious that a Mega Kang is not exactly equal to a Landorus T. So with that in mind, here is the relative weight between Mega Kangs and Landorus-T that is necessary to understand this ranking

=

If you actually calculated the actual difficulty using this, congratulations, you're a frickin nerd

COMPREHENSIVE PREVIEW

For too long, VGC previews have been plagued with totally subjective, and really loosey-goosey preview articles. Not any longer! This article uses a complex deep learning algorithm to predict exactly how many wins every player at this regional will receive in the 8 rounds of swiss. Without Further ado, here are the results!

HUGE LOSERS

Anyone who didn't check in before I wrote this. Come on, why are relying on the last minute check in? You're either working on your team last minute, arrived late, or are just lazy and as a result will have to wake up early and be sleep deprived. Anyway, we think you will do terrible, and you should feel bad.

CREAM OF THE CROP (7+ wins)

These players got really lucky and got high numbers from the random number generator I used to make this article have demonstrated tremendous amounts of success, and will surely be rewarded with a minimum of 7+ wins. Some people whose names I recognize, fix this with a superlative explaining how good they are bigly accomplished players in this group include

Z.uy..ee L.ou [AU]: Ok, we're going to assume this is Z.o..e L..ou, the previous champion of AUS internationals. The fact that our deep learning algorithm chose the previous winner to have 7+ wins this year despite registering under a slightly different name shows just how reliable our system is. If our assumption is wrong then we will publish a correction article that no one will read anyway

Ca..rs.o...n C.o.nf...er [US]: Clearly, the algorithm also takes into account recent success as well, demonstrating how reliable and accurate it is. Ca..rs.on is coming off a nice international finish that I'm too lazy too luck up the exact placing for, so look for him to also finish this event with a solid finish but not quite a solid enough finish for me to remember his exact placing.

G..iov.a.nn.i C..os.t.a [US]: Alright we normally like to rip on the people we put in our preview articles, but G..i..o is amazing for this community and makes great videos so major props to him! We feel a little bad that we probably cursed him with this preview, but I am just a slave to the algorithm, I have to post what it gives me.

N..ich.o.l.as B.i.ng..h.am [AU]: This guy top cut with a magikarp, I don't know what else I have to say. Maybe he'll top cut with another shit mon this year like seedot or tapu fini.

who are these people? OTHER PEOPLE IN THIS CATEGORY

Ar.v.el S.end.j.ojo [ID]

E.m.ma Wil.li.ams [AU]

R.ya.n H.erc.us [AU]

G.l.en Wh.eel.er [AU]

S.eb Th.al.is [AU]

B.r..a.dl.ey Pr.it.ch.a...rd [AU]

Ad.n..an A.vd.ic [AU]

St.ev.en S.h.i [AU]

Ro.be.rt W.hi.te.hi.ll [AU]

T.o.ny N.g.uy.en [AU]

G.ua.n-M.in Li [TW]

L.u.ke I.ue.le [AU]

I.va.n R.e.y J.ing.co [PH]

Za.ch..a.ry Ma.r.ks [AU]

H...a.mis.h T.r.ant.er [AU]

P.et.e.r T.h.o.mp..s.on [AU]

J..a.v.i.er Se.ñ.or.e.na [ES]

THE BEST OF THE REST (6+ wins)

These players didn't get quite as lucky as the previous group, but perhaps they will benefit from the lack of pressure of not being in the top group. These players could easily make cut if they get just a few breaks that our algorithm couldn't predict and include:

K.iyo.sh.i.ro A.ra.i [JP]: Our first Japanese player, our Algorithm doesn't seem to think Japan is particularly strong at this event, but you can never sleep on Japan!

A..nd.r.ea Di F..ra.nc.es.co [IT]: I feel like I've seen this name before finishing well but I don't remember where. Anyway he's Italian so he is definitely a safe pick to do well at this event

OTHER PEOPLE IN THIS GROUP

F.e.de..ri.co Tu..ra.no [AR]

Is.a.a.c L.am [NZ]

Ma.lc.o.l.m Ma.c.ke.l.lar [AU]

G..un.t.u.r P..ra.b.o.wo [ID]

O.n H.an.g T..s.u.i [HK]

E.ri.c V.o [AU]

Ca.me.r.on D.im.ond [AU]

S.e.an T.ho.r.pe [AU]

E.v.a.n B.oy.l.e [AU]

G.r.if.f.in C.og.g.in [AU]

J.es..s..e B.ea.rd [AU]

E.man.u.e.le B.e.rm..an.i [AU]

K....ei...th S. T..al..on

C.hr..i.st.oph.er E.ga.n [AU]

K.ev.in P.al.-.i.n.g [AU]

R..h.y.s Da.v.ie.s [GB]

ABOVE AVERAGE (5+ wins)

These players are destined to have an OK, but ultimately disappointing finish at Sydney. Some notable members of this list include:

A.lb.e.r..to L.ar.a [US]: Is there a maximum for amount of CP? At this rate A...lb.er.to is on Pace to snowball well into 2023, and he's in the hunt to get even more CP at this event! God help us all!

S.im..o.n.e S..a.n.vi.t.o [IT]: Coming off an internationals win, it looks like whoever gibed (gobe? gabe? gobben? idk whatever the past tense of gibe is) him his team this time wasn't quite as good of a teambuilder. In any case, he still is looking at a solid finish and he finished roughly 0.6 points higher in the algorithm than his rival ..Y,,ur.i so thats nice!

Al.e.s.s.io Y,ur.i B.os.c.he.t..to [IT]: Ok I know these rankings mean absolutely nothing but I bet it stings a little to know that you finished 0.6 points behind S..an.v.y

P.hi....l.ip Ng..u.ye.n [AU]: A strong Austrailian player, b..oo.mgu..y may not have had quite the placing in our rankings he would have hoped, but hey, at least its a respectable placing!

OTHER PLAYERS IN THIS CATEGORY

Si.mon C.ha.n [AU]

N.a.s.h H..a.w.nt [AU]

G.ra.h.a.m A.me.d.ee [AU]

J..a.m.e.s F..ar.r.ug.ia [AU]

T.s.z H.in L.a.m [HK]

Ch.ri.s G.iag.oz.og.l.ou [AU]

Ch.ri.st.o.pher H.igg.ins [GB]

M.a.r.t.in M.uno.z [CL]

Y..ok.o T.ag.uma [SG]

Sa,ma,nt.ha D.ig.g.i.n.es [AU]

A.li.s.t.er Sa.ndo..ver [AU]

S.tu..a.rt R.u.th..er.fo.rd [AU]

K.en.n.y C.h.a.n [AU]

D.a.ic.h.i K.u..m.a.b..e [JP]

St.ep.h.en J.ac..o.bs [AU]

L.ew.is Fo.o.ng [MY]

T.L. TS.A.N.G [HK]

T.OM.O.YA K.IM.U.RA [JP]

K..ENY.A K.O.DER.A [JP]

P.au.l Am.ed.ee [AU]

J.am.e.s R..o.u.se [AU]

Vi.n.c.ent M.ont.a.l.vo [US]

M.ar.k. D.i.c.k.in..so.n [AU]

Be..n.j..a.min M.ay.ne [AU]

B.a.il.ey O.w..e.n [AU]

J.a..k.e Wa..rr..en [AU]

D.er...e.k P...en.g [AU]

D.am.on M.ur.d.och [AU]

L.UO L.I J.U [TW]

THESE GUYS WILL DROP MID TOURNAMENT UNREMARKABLY (2-4+ wins)

These players are likely to be a little bit upset after their finishes, and will probably complain about the hax a lot so I'd recommend avoiding talking to them after the event because they probably dropped in disgrace and will be a bit tilted. Some Notable Members of this list

RIP North American Travel Award Winners:

A.s..ht.on C.o.x [US]

S..t.e.p.h.en M.e.a [US]

A..l.e.x U.n.d.e.r.h.i...ll [US]

Ma.t.t T..i.d.d [CA]

J.er..em.y Ro.dr..ig.ue.s [US]

OUCH! More than HALF of the US stipend award winners get filtered out into this category. Land of the Free am I right?

A..le.x G.o.me..z [ES]: After being cursed with the smart money on another site's article, it appears that A..le.x is unfortunately doomed for an early exit. I am amazed that our algorithm was able to correctly identify the existence of the smart money curse and notice that even such a strong player like A..le.x is not immune to this.

OTHER PLAYERS WHO SCRUBBED OUT

J.a.y. T.y..r.r.e.ll [AU]

C.ol.i.n D.av..i.es [AU]

J.e.ns A.rn.e M.æk.in.e.n [NO]

L.ia.m Gi.lb.e.r..t [AU]

D..y.l.an C..a.r.ri..gg [AU]

P.a..ul R.u..iz [EC]

E..v.a.n B.a..t.es [US]

G...O.M..I N.A..O.Y.A [JP]

M.a..rt.i.n L..a.ru.m.be [AU]

L.uk..e H.e.y [AU]

T.i..m.ot.hy Go..ol..ey [AU]

Ju..li..en A.th..ave [AU]

Z.a.c C.o.r.r.i.gan [AU]

S.ho...t.a M.iy.a..ji [JP]

D..an...ie.l W..al.ke.r [AU]

A..nu.bh.a.v B.i.sw..as [AU]

E.li.z..a.be.th H.om..e.n [US]

A..rk.i.e O..w.e.n [AU]

C..el.i.ne G.ri.ma [AU]

K.oj.i M.or..i.mo.to [JP]

B.ri.a.n A.me..d.ee [AU]

K.a.rl A.ng..el.o A.qu..i.no [PH]

De..n.a.ysh S.el.vak.k.um.ar [AU]

A.sh.l.e.y Sp.ri.n.ge.tt [AU]

Z.ar..if A..ym.an [MY]

C.h.r..i.s L.y...el.l [AU]

J..o..se B.ri.c..e.no [US]

K.ha..l.id A.lh.u.r.a.i.z [AE]

J.am.e.s T.ig..a.ni [AU]

L.a...u.re.n H..o.l.l.ow.ay [AU]

P.e..t.e.r N.ak.h.o.ul [AU]

D.a.n.i..e.l C.ar.r.o.ll [GB]

C.u..r.t.i.s R.i.d.in.g.s [AU]

J.e.n.s.e.n C..h.e..n [AU]

B.i..l.l W.a.n.g [AU]

H.ar...r.i.s.on N.el.s..on P.er.r.y [AU]

K.i.k.u.ch.i K.a.o..r.i [JP]

J..a.v.i.er V..a.l.d.es [CL]

J..a.c.k.s.on L.ak..ey [AU]

L..i.a.m S...te.w.a.rt [AU]

W.i..l.l Y.un..g [AU]

A...l.e.s.sio V...i.nc.i.g.u.e.r.ra [IT]

K..w.o.k H..a.n.g K.o [HK]

A..n.d.r.ew D..a.s [AU]

S.a.m H..u.g.h.es [AU]

Eu...ge.n.e T.a.n [SG]

M.a...rt.i.n T.a.n [SG]

J...a.c.ks.on M..a.y.be..r.ry [AU]

CONSIDER SWTICHING TO SHINY HUNTING (0-1+ wins)

These players will perform terribly, barely even mustering up a win in some cases. Just look at these guys and their miserable abilities to get good numbers in a random number generator. play pokemon well wait whats the difference?

. Some particularly surprising people on this list are:

WAIT REALLY

E..d.u.a.r.do C.u..n.ha [PT]

S..a.m P...a.nd.el.i.s [AU]

A.r.a.s.h O..mm.a.t.i [IT]

C...h.ri.s.t.o.p.her K.a.n [AU]

B..ar.r.y A.n..de.r.s.on [GB]

Ja.mi.e Bo..y.t [GB]

L.u.ke. Cu.r.ta.le [AU]

N.i..c.o D..a.v.i.de C.og.ne.t.t.a [IT]

Wow, there's a lot of surprising names on this list, I wonder what the algorithm is thinking. oh shit i made a spelling error in one of the functions all the placings are backwards but its too late I need to publish this In any case, we are certain in the algorithms reliability, so it looks like these normally strong players will be in for a bit of a rough time this year in Sydney.

OTHER MISERABLE SCRUBS

J.o.s.e..ph H..o.r.s.f.i.e.ld [AU]

Z..o.l.t.an Sn..e.ad [AU]

S...im.o.n K..o..n.s.ti [AU]

a..r.is k..a.t.s.i.k.is [AU]

T..A.I.S.E.I M.OR....IK.AW.A [JP]

K.a L..o.k. L..e.e [HK]

D..o.ri.an Q..u.iñ..o.ne.z [PE]

D..a.vid Gi.ll...et..t [AU]

B..e.n d.e R...id.d.er [AU]

D..u.c Ma..c [AU]

C..h.i.n.g Y.an.g L.ai [HK]

Y.u..ki K.o.no [AU]

Z.h.i S.h..en.g T.a.y [SG]

J..e.sse Wi..l.s.o.ne [AU]

J..o.s.h.ua W...a.r.e [AU]

D..i.e.go Ferr.eira [CL]

A.n.g W..e.i W..e.n [SG]

D...a.vi.d.e S..p.e.ra.ti [IT]

J..o.s.hu.a C..a.l.li.s.ter [AU]

he..n.ry r..i.c.h [AU]

M..e.lv.i.n K..e.h [SG]

L..o.ch.ie.l C..a.me.r.on [AU]

m...a.x l.. a.ng.e.ns.i..e.p.en [AU]

B..e.n V.o.ss [AU]

E..l.i.s.e M..c.C.a.be [AU]

J..i.r.a.w.iw.at T...h.i.t.a.s.i.ri [TH]

E..i.k.e M..a.r.vi.n G..il.c.h.er [DE]

Ma..t.t.h.ew S..i.l.i.w.an [ID]

C...h.e.ls.ea T.an [SG]

L..i.a.m F...a.l.l.s [AU]

S..a.m.u.el F...ri.e.nd [AU]

P...a.ul T..ay.lor [AU]

Me.a..g.h.an Ra..tt..le [AU]

J..am..es K..a.t.sa.r.os [AU]

B.ra.id.y..n P.s.ai..la [AU]

C..o.n.n.or Cr..oe.se [AU]

B..r.e.n.dan R..ob.e.son [AU]

Y..a.ng.-.J..i.e H..u.a.ng [TW]

SMART MONEY: Tony Nguyen [AU]

Congratulations Tony! You are the chosen one to bear the cross of the smart money. The good news is that you can actually find your name using CTRL+F quite easily, the bad news is that you must bear the curse of smart money for the entire regional. May God have mercy on your soul!

STUPID MONEY: Nico Davide Cognetta [IT]

In addition to Smart Money, our algorithm also predicts a Stupid Money: The player it believe will finish last in this event. I want to stress that this was not a close call at all, the algorithm is EXTREMELY sure that Nico Davide Cognetta will finish last in this event. The scores range from 0-8, and he received a 0.004, more than 10 times lower than the next lowest player. We don't have any precedent for a Stupid Money Blessing to counteract the Smart Money Curse, but in any case things are looking either really really good for Nico Davide Cognetta or really really bad depending on which superstition you subscribe to.

New Ally Switch Glitch Causes Your Face To Get Punched If You Use It In Live Competition

Columbus, OH - As if Pokemon Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon haven't been buggy enough already, a new glitch involving the move "Ally switch" has recently been discovered at a local Premier Challenge. The glitch appears to be caused when a player uses the move "Ally switch" at a pivotal point in the game, and the result is that a fist comes crashing into the users face.

Tournament organizers became concerned when they noticed an increase in the number of faces that ended up getting punched, and quickly investigated for the cause of this glitch. The glitch has been found to be exclusive to using "live competition", it has not been observed on battle spot or Pokemon showdown. We reached out to Game Freak about a patch for this glitch but have not received any comment.

It should be noted that the Klinklang times cannot confirm that this observation is actually a glitch, some players believe that it is actually an intentional feature, and hope that it will not be patched out.